Words Of Advice For Young People

In the spirit of William S. Burroughs I am compiling a few words of advice for young people.
1. Never EVER eat Sponge Bob cereal. For real... that is a move that I cannot advise.Sponge Bob Cereal tastes like ass.I have never eaten ass, but I seriously doubt that it can possibly taste worse than that wretched concoction of pure feces.Fuck Sponge Bob!Shrek 2 cereal rules!!!!as does the almighty Boo mothafuckin berry beyooootch!
2. Never tuck your shitty Social Distortion T-shirt into your jeans with the studded belt. The gay homie and I agreed on this... First. Social Distortion sucks. Secondly you have a belt that made Rob Halford smile. Third. Fuck third. Fourth, that asshole deserved a free ass kicking. I was hoping that the gay feller would do it.
3. Animal rights makes no fucking sense. Call me an asshole if you will, but when there are genocides going on in Darfur, there are AIDS epidemics, there are serious human rights violations going on here and abroad and you are worried about whether or not Lassie got makeup in his fucking eye.... WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!? There are better things to worry about.
4. You can fuck yourself with pro-life. How about this... Be pro-your own fucking life- and leave me the fuck out of it. Mind your own fucking business.
5. The same goes to fucking club owners and bouncers. If you want my money. Fuck a dress code, fuck a charging $4 for fucking water, and ultimately, FUCK YOU for ripping us off. I don't mind hanging at home. The music is better anyways!
6. Never Trust A Naked Bus Driver (If I need to explain this you are a fucking retard.)
7. Never Trust Your Own Mouth. If you put your faith in a hole like that you are as stupid as those that put theirs into a book. or into me.
8. Old people are unreliable thieves. If you want an explanation look up social security... then imagine the prospect of you or I ever seeing it!
That is it for now.
Feel free to add!
Nick