Advice on the "Fairer" sex.

Nick’s humble advice on the fairer sex...
Current mood: awake

When she walks away from you mad
[ Throw shit at the back of her head ]

When she stare's at your mouth
[ mouth the words "Fuck You" ]

When she pushes you or hit's you
[ Headbutt her ]

When she start's cursing at you
[ Know that loogies feel worse than words ]

When she's quiet
[ Show her your privates ]

When she ignore's you
[ Fart in the closest proximity possible ]

When she pull's away
[ make sure she smells the anal vapor ]

When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she smells even worse than that ]

When you see her start crying
[ ask her to be quiet, you are trying to watch the game ]

When you see her walking
[ Smack her ass really hard, be sure to leave a mark ]

When she's scared
[ Ridicule her ]

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
[ tell her that she has a huge, heavy melon ]

When she steal's your favorite hat
[ Smack her on the nose with a newspaper ]

When she tease's you
[ React violently ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ Shrug your shoulders and turn your back ]

When she look's at you with doubt
[ Give her the finger ]

When she say's that she like's you
[ she really thinks you are merely slightly less douch-ey than her last conquest ]

When she grab's at your hands
[ Scream "Stranger Danger" and run like hell. ]

When she bump's into you
[ glare at her and tell her to knock that shit off ]

When she tell's you a secret
[ Tell her gossipy friend ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ Two words: Farmer's Blow ]

When she misses you
[ recommend booze ]

When you break her heart
[ the pain is easily remedied by booze and new dick ]

When she says its over
[ She is sick of your stalker ass. ]

When she repost this bulletin
[ she wants you to eat it ]

- Hang up on her every chance you get, because shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad grab her tit and don't let go

- When she says she's ok believe it, she can't be complicated.

- because 10 yrs later she'll still not know your name

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you hope she gets Herpes

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up, because everyone loves a stalker!

- Treat her like nothing matters to you.

- Tease her and laugh behind her back.

- Keep her up all night with your dick.

- Call her stupid when she tells you that her favorite movie is "Independence Day"

- Give her the pearl Necklace.

- Let her wear your manchowder.

- When she's bored and sad, Tell her to stop being a self-righteous twat.

- Let her know she's unimportant.

- push her into the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;"Deal with it"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kill you.
Loath you.
Worship you.